If you’ve ever felt a knot in your stomach at the mention of money. Or found yourself closing a browser tab the moment someone walked into the room, then you’re not alone. In the UK, debt carries a stigma that stops millions of people asking the questions they most need answered.
That silence has a cost and it’s not just financial.
Why is talking about debt so hard?
There’s something about money trouble that feels uniquely personal. As though it reflects on who you are, not just where you are. Research published by Aryza in 2025 found that 91% of UK adults who had experienced debt or entered a debt solution believe there is a stigma attached to being in debt. Not most people. Not many people. Nine in ten. And yet debt is, by almost any measure, a shared national experience.
New research from the UK’s leading debt charity StepChange, published in March 2026, found that one in two UK adults has experienced problem debt at some point in their lives. Of those, 44% told nobody. Not a partner, not a friend, not a family member. Nobody.
So, we have a situation where debt is extraordinarily common, and yet many people who are carrying it feel entirely alone with it. That gap – between the reality and the feeling is where shame lives.
Where does the shame come from?
Part of it is cultural. British society has a long and well-documented discomfort with talking about money. We will discuss almost anything before we’ll talk openly about what we earn, what we owe or what we’re struggling with.
But stigma around debt goes further than general awkwardness. It often involves a moral aspect too. The sense that getting into debt means you did something wrong. That you were reckless, irresponsible or simply not good enough at managing your life.
However, the data tells a very different story. StepChange’s research amongst their clients reported that the most common causes of problem debt are things that have happened to people rather than the choices they make. 15% of their clients stated that unemployment or redundancy was the cause of their problem debt and 10% attributed this to illness or injury. These and other unexpected life events mean that the stories people tell themselves about why they’re in debt is often far harsher than the reality.
The ‘shame spiral’
Academic research has documented what researchers call the “shame spiral” in financial difficulty. People experiencing financial shame tend to avoid looking at their bank accounts, delay contacting creditors and put off seeking advice – behaviours that directly make their situation worse.
It’s not laziness or indifference. It’s the weight of shame making the next step feel impossible.
The cost of keeping it secret
Debt carried in secret is harder to manage and can be harder to resolve. It also tends to affect every other part of life, often in ways that aren’t immediately obvious.
The impact on relationships is particularly significant. Research by ClearScore found that one in six Brits has hidden debt from a partner. Separate research by Aviva found that nearly two in five people in a relationship in the UK have engaged in what researchers term ‘financial infidelity’ or concealing financial information from a partner. In many cases this includes undisclosed debt.
Carrying debt in secret is exhausting. It can create distance in relationships, affect how decisions get made at home and adds a quiet but constant weight to daily life that is very hard to shake. In some situations, such as when a formal debt solution like an IVA is being considered and a client is one half of a couple that share a home or a mortgage, then the secret can only be kept for so long.
The fear of asking for help vs. the reality
Research by the FCA and MoneyHelper found that more than half (52%) of borrowers in financial difficulty waited more than a month before seeking help. Of these, 53% regretted not doing so sooner.
The same research found that eight in ten people who did seek debt advice recommended it and 70% said it had been more helpful than they had expected.
That gap between the fear of asking and the reality of asking is one of the most important things to understand about debt. The conversation that people dread is almost always far less frightening than the one they’ve been having with themselves.
Why it’s worth pushing through
When you are able to recognise that the shame you feel is just that – a feeling, not a fact, then you can start to take steps towards tackling it.
A few things that can help:
- Start with the full picture. Shame often thrives in vagueness. Writing down exactly what you owe – so every debt, every balance and every monthly payment, removes some of its power. It moves the problem from something you’re dreading to something you’re addressing.
- Try to separate what happened, from who you are. Problem debt is more often the result of circumstances than character. Redundancy, illness, relationship breakdown, a gap in earnings – these are things that happen to responsible people. The debt is the result of the situation.
- Choose who you talk to carefully. You don’t have to tell everyone, but finding one person to speak to – either a trusted friend, your partner, or a confidential specialist can make a huge difference. The first conversation is the hardest one, but it is still worth having.
- Understand what professional advice involves. Some people will avoid seeking specialist debt advice because they fear judgment or a loss of control. An adviser’s job is not to tell you off, it is to help you understand your options and find the right path forward. Confidential, specialist advice exists precisely because these situations are complex and personal.
If you’re considering an IVA
An Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA) is a formal insolvency solution, and for many people who are at the point of considering one, the shame and secrecy around their debt may have been building for some time. There may be debts a partner doesn’t know about. There may be questions you’ve been afraid to ask.
We hear this regularly and we want to be clear that coming to us with those questions is not something to be ashamed of. It’s the opposite. It takes courage to look clearly at a difficult situation and ask what can be done.
Our advisers are not target-driven. There is no agenda beyond understanding your situation fully and giving you an honest picture of your options. If an IVA is not right for you, we will tell you that. If it is, then we’ll explain exactly what it involves – including flagging up what conversations you may need to have, so that nothing catches you off guard.
To talk through your situation in confidence, call us on 0800 856 8569 or fill in our online enquiry form.
You are not the only one. Half the country has been where you are. The difference between staying stuck and moving forward, is in what you do next.
Source(s): Aryza, ‘Facing the Facts: Understanding the Stigma and Struggles of Debt in the UK’, 2025. StepChange Debt Charity/Censuswide polling, Debt Awareness Week, March 2026. StepChange Debt Charity, ‘One in Four Unlikely to Talk About Debt’, March 2025. FCA and MoneyHelper, ‘Borrowers in Financial Difficulty’ research, July 2022. ClearScore, Debt Awareness Week research, reported via IFA Magazine. Aviva, ‘Financial Infidelity’ research, February 2023. Gladstone, Jachimowicz, Greenberg & Galinsky, ‘Financial shame spirals: How shame intensifies financial hardship’, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2021.
IVAorg CIC is a not-for-profit, licensed insolvency practice specialising in Individual Voluntary Arrangements. We only recommend an IVA when we are satisfied it is the right solution for the individual.
